I don’t like writing autobiographical testimonies

I've been asked to give an account of where I've been. I don’t like writing autobiographical testimonies. They tend to be far too self-indulgent and grossly over use the personal pronoun “I”. Although there may be some agreement around the principle of gaining lessons from life’s experience, many of those critical events in my life are better off forgotten. If G-d can blot out my iniquities through His forgiveness, the lesson to take away is that life points forward not backward. So instead of providing a blow-by-blow depiction of a life too often “over lived” my intent is to share some of its lessons.

Always remember where you came in. The good fortune of a stable loving home cannot be underestimated. Growing up there is no time in memory that offers anything but security, love, and wise counsel. Unfortunately, having the tools does not assure good use. My travels around the “G-d of my father” were long and circular. If good judgment comes from bad experience, my judgment should be precise. Being raised in a religious home did not guarantee a positive relationship with G-d. I was well studied in religion and new its precepts and concepts from every direction but truth. It took a direct confrontation with Yeshua for me to answer the question He asked Peter, “Who do you say I am?” And that is where I came in. That is the place which can never be forgotten no matter how far or long the travels are, the answer must be remembered, “You are the Mashiach, the Son of the living God.” (Matt 16:16)

You are what you eat. The farther away, in time or space, we get from the place we came in the less we remember about it unless there is a constant reminder. My father died in 1979 and even though I’ve not forgotten him he is not on my mind nearly as much as when he was with me. It is necessary to purpose to remember the relationship we had by pictures, memorabilia, keepsakes and other memories. My father stays close to me because my choice has been to feed on his memory. The relationship I had with Yeshua “when I came in” was special and unique, as it is with everyone, because at the beginning we were so close. But time and space continue and the relationship changes. My Yeshua can only stay close if the choice is to feed on His memory, His word. The scripture admonishes us to “put on the mind of Messiah.” (I Co. 2:16) The way to discover what a person’s mind is, is to listen to what they say. Yeshua’s mind becomes mine when His word is fervently and diligently devoured.

Phone home. I grew up on a farm in rural South Dakota. The operative word is “rural”. The closest neighbors were around 5 miles away. We never had a telephone or running water. When I was courting my future wife, Lola, our primary means of communication was through letters. For those of you who don’t remember, letters are like email only slower. Even though letters served to bind the relationship, there was nothing like talking to bring us into focus and draw us closer together. Even though I can remember where I came in and continue to eat G-d’s word they still only serve to bind the relationship. To focus and draw closer conversation is what is needed. This spiritual walk we are on is often referred to as a “personal” relationship. I can think of no relationships, personal or not, that can remain if you never talk and listen. If you don’t pray you will stray. It is also important to listen. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

JR