In Memory of Bill Graves

A friend who dies, it's something of you who dies. (Gustave Flaubert)

I find it a peculiar thing that any of us ever get to know anyone of us. The propensity of human kind is to guard our existence from exposure to life’s embedded risks and trials depriving us from what life itself is really about. Regardless of the fact that from birth the most prominent human needs orbit around human interaction the natural tenancy is “fight or flight.” We indeed make life more complicated than it needs to be. The British humorist Douglas Adams in his strange and wonderful construct of a largely irreverent universe says, “We also live in strange places: each in a universe of our own. The people with whom we populate our universes are the shadows of whole other universes intersecting with our own.” (Mostly Harmless)

This may be an odd way to begin a conversation about the death of a good man but it is in part how I feel about Bill Graves. I’ve known Bill for somewhere around 20 years and in that time had a myriad of opportunities to work with him in his roles in state and federal government. He sat on the Board of Finance Fund for nearly a decade. These were the places where our universes intersected and my discovery was that here was a man that was more than a shadow but a presence. His opinions, positions, and integrity were always clear. His somewhat eccentric persona shielded many from the intelligence and insight Bill had to offer. At one chance meeting outside a local restaurant several blocks from his office he stopped to chat with me and a couple of my staff members. Very abruptly he said, “Well, I’m late” and turned to sprinted away down the street briefcase in hand and overcoat flapping in the wind like superman’s cape.  

Bill Graves will be remembered in each of our universes. He wasn’t a close friend or an intimate friend or my best friend; but he was a good friend. He would cross the room to say “hello” or call with some bit of information he thought would be interesting or make a special attempt to send a message of friendship. Bill was among a few “workplace” friends to attend my 60^th birthday party in the middle of a snow storm. He didn’t have to come but by making it important to attend he sent the message that our friendship was important.

Bill has moved on. He has gone to a place we all shall travel. Death itself will not deny us the friendship of a good man and a good friend. We will remember you. Thanks, Bill.